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When Andy Lee first dipped his toes into the adult entertainment world, he never could’ve imagined how much it would change his life. Fast forward to today, and Lee isn’t just a star on OnlyFans—he’s practically a household name in the gay for pay community. Googling expeditions into the words “gay” and “homosexuality” only added to his ever-growing anxiety.

He read stories about kids coming out, and then being abandoned and disowned. Phil, 39, is a lifelong football fan who's in Qatar for his fourth World Cup in a row.

When Andy Lee first

Qatar has said "everyone is welcome", but as a gay man travelling in a country where same-sex relationships are criminalised, he tells us through his diary how the experience has been challenging. On the way to the World Cup in Russia in , the airport was absolutely packed with fans from around the world, but it just looks like an average Tuesday here tonight.

I've been an England fan for longer than I've known what the word "gay" means. My first memories of football are of watching the World Cup in at my grandparents' house, and being allowed to stay up late for England games. I'm aware that my decision to go to Qatar puts me in the substantial minority of gay England fans - but if we're serious that the game is for everyone, I'm not going to let Qatar's despicable LGBT rights stop me from enjoying the game that I love.

I don't feel I have to choose between being a gay man and an England fan. Why Qatar is a controversial choice for the World Cup. I accept that I'm saying that from a position of extreme privilege. That's what I'm most conflicted about. I'm just walking out of the stadium after the first game, Japan Germany. A superb game. But it's all very odd here. There's a sterile atmosphere inside the stadiums, no-one seems to quite know what to do.

Security are managing things quite closely - there's a specific area to have your flags and banners examined before going in. On the metro tonight I saw a sign saying football is "a vehicle for respecting human rights", to which the obvious question is - but whose human rights? There is a tonne of security inside the stadiums, more than I've seen at any of the other tournaments. It's curious because the atmosphere here seems to be non-threatening.

So what exactly are they looking out for? I spoke to a gay fan from the Netherlands in a bar earlier. Like me, he feels somewhat conflicted about being here. I also had one of my dating apps open today and got several messages from Saudi men. So the Qataris may pretend that queer life in the Middle East is dead, but online it's alive and well.

Just finished watching England v USA. At half-time I bumped into an England fan who was wearing a rainbow ribbon, and asked him if he had any issues getting into the stadium. Apparently he was looked over by three or four different people, but was then told, "oh, it's OK now". I've also seen a couple of fans in USA jerseys with rainbow numbers on the back, so I guess "green shoots" is the phrase.

I've been thinking about that "football is for everyone" slogan quite a lot since I've been here. I think the locals genuinely do believe it, they just don't consider gay fans as part of the equation. It's not necessarily homophobic, it's just such a taboo topic that we're invisible. It's one of the reasons a lot of my fellow LGBT fans haven't been able to come out here - they've felt, for understandable reasons, excluded.

I'm walking out of the stadium at the end of the Australia v Tunisia game. Just after half-time, a group of Tunisian fans unfurled a massive flag saying "Free Palestine".